A short story about a young girl who gets a message to help her mother after the difficult loss of a fetus.
An Angel’s Helper
Written by Author Stacey Chillemi
I was eight years old. They say children may not know a lot about life, but who’s to say that’s true? I still remember this time in my life like it happened yesterday. I was worried about my mother. My mother had a hard life growing up and wanted to make up for it with her own family. I was an only child and my mother desperately wanted another child to carry the family name. She was thirty-four at the time and suffered from some medical problems, but that did not stop her from wanting her second child. Finally, her dream came true. She became pregnant at age thirty-four. She was a nervous person to begin with and having a child in her mid-thirties made her even more concerned for her child's health. My mother was always the type to worry about the negative and ignore the positive. My mom was worried about her age and if having a child in her thirties might put the baby at risk. It was in the 1980’s and my mom was beginning to think something bad might happen to the baby, so she went to get amniocentesis.
My father came from Greece and was brought up very old school. He believed to leave well enough alone. My father begged her not to get it done, but against his word, she did anyway. An amniocentesis is a common prenatal test in which a small sample of the amniotic fluid surrounding the fetus is removed and examined to see if the baby has any birth defects.
The doctor who performed the procedure did it incorrectly. The doctor withdrew the wrong amount of fluid, so instead of waiting a couple of days to withdraw the proper amount of fluid, he withdrew more the same day. In result, the baby did not have enough fluid to feed off of and survive.
My mother did not think anything of it when she left the office. She did not think withdrawing double the amount of fluid would do anything to the baby. She had confidence in the doctor and thought, “Well if the doctor did it then it must OK.” Remember, doctors are humans too. They make mistakes. There not to be put on pedestals. My mother did not bother to say anything that day to us.
The next morning while sleeping, I was awakened by something glowing above my bed in my bedroom. I sat straight up in bed. What was it? As I watched, the glow became larger and more radiant. I saw something in the center. Why, it was a figure of a man. The man was dressed in a robe. He looked like he was in his twenties or thirties and he had a beard. I was not scared at all. I felt no fear, instead I felt at ease. It was a beautiful glow. One that I have never seen before.
The man moved closer to me, somehow bringing the light with him. Still shinning straight above me, he sat down on the side of my bed and said something to me. Something I did not want to hear.
"Stacey"
How do you know my name?"
He did not say.
"Listen to me," the beautiful man said.
His voice was like gold, all shimmers and lovely. He had such peace in his voice.
"Stacey, you have been very worried about your Mommy, but you don't need to be afraid about your mother and baby's she is carrying. It is for the best.
I was confused. I looked directly into his big brown eyes and asked, "What is for the best?"
"What I am about to tell you, may make you mad. You are not going to understand now, but later in life the pieces will unfold and you will understand why this happened."
"Understand "what?" Why what happened," I asked.
The baby your mother is carrying is dead my child!
I started yelling at him screaming, "No, No".
"The baby is in a better world, a place where he needs to be. He is in the heavens, where there is no evil and only love exists. Now you need to be there for your mother. "I am watching over your brother and I’ll make sure he fine, he'll walk the world with me. It is your job to help your mother. She needs your strength and love, because your mother’s strength will diminish through this tragic event. "All right?"
Yes!" I replied. The bright figure then faded away and so the ghost like figure of the man...
My mother was leaving to go to the doctor that day. I did not say anything to her about what the angels had told me. I did not want to upset her. I felt butterflies in my stomach. I knew this would be a tragic day for all. I looked out the window as she got into the car, tears rolled down my eyes as I wept them off my face. I remember what the angel said, "You must be your mother's strength."
That day my mother came home distraught and in tears. The doctors told she lost the baby and that she had to be hospitalized, so they could remove the baby from her body. She sat down on the couch with her face covered by her hands. I knew then that the doctor had told her. I did not ask her any questions because I did not want to upset her anymore than she already was.
The angel was right. I realized that the angel was preparing me, so I could be the angel's helper on earth. I walked over to my mother. She looked at me and was about to tell me what I already knew. She was about to tell me, but I covered her mouth. Mother I know the angel from the heavens came and told me about your misfortune. I am sorry. I am here to give you my strength. The angel told me that you need my strength and my eternal love. I am your daughter, your pain is my pain and my strength is now yours. We will get through this together. For all things, happen for a reason. The angel said, we may not understand at first, but as times goes on we will understand. She looked stunned for a moment, a bit confused, but then she grabbed me and gave me a tight hug. We wept together and a special bond that developed between us at that moment, one that that will never diminish.
That moment was a special one. I felt such a spiritual feeling in the room when I hugged my mom. I felt the same peaceful aura in the room that I felt in my bedroom when the angel came to visit. I looked around but saw no one.
I can still hear myself offering my help to the one person in the world who meant the most to me, my mom. God had sent a messenger "the man" to prepare me for my mother's loss and to teach me how not to be anger or blame anyone for what has happened, but to focus on the person who needed my help the most, "my mother." The man-the messenger from the heavens showed me how to move my mother through the grieving process toward healing.
The next day my father drove my mother to the hospital. She was there for two days. The first day they removed the baby that now lived in the heavens above. They kept her over night to make sure there were no complications.
When she came home, I was there to greet her. She held back the tears and it was a struggle just to smile at me. She went to room and my father followed. When he closed the door, I walked by to listen what they were saying.
"Why did I get that test done?" my mother yelled in grief. I could have had my second child. The son I always wanted. I will never get to hold him or feel his soft baby skin. I will never see him laugh. I will never see him smile.
"My sweet Tina" my father said, one day we will meet our son when we are in the heavens. The baby we would have had is resting in peace with a halo over its head. Do not blame yourself. You did what you thought was right for the welfare of the child. Death is a comma not a period. We have a future ahead of us. Who knows what God has in store? We are still young. We still can have another child. When it is our turn to fly to the heavens, we will meet our child behind the pearly gate. After that, there was a long moment of silence.
Days followed my mother was not the same mom that I knew. She was not the bubbly happy person who would greet me at the bus stop. She was grieving over the loss of the baby. Her body still thought the baby was there. She continued to fill up with breast milk and her breasts became tendered. This did not help her emotional state. She was being reminded each day of what could have been.
She moped around the house looking and feeling depressed. I remembered what the man had said, that one morning, "It is your job to help your mother. She needs your strength and love, because your mother’s strength will diminish through this tragic event."
For some reason I, felt compelled to open my bible. I walked over to my desk and picked up my bible. The bible fell to the floor and opened to the book of psalm. I read the page and one of the passages caught my eye. It was Psalm 91:11. He will give his angels charge of you to guard you in all your ways.
I realized that the man, the angel that was sent to me was preparing me to help my mother journey through the pathway of healing. He was going to guard us and protect us, so my mother would have time to heal.
I walked over and said, "Mommy this has been an unforgettable tragedy for all of us. "Let's pray mommy", I said. I know that God and the angels are watching over us and they are going to help us. We knelt down, prayed for the baby, and prayed for our family. After we prayed my mother looked at me and told me that she loved me and that she is very sad that she lost the baby, then she looked at me and said, "But you know I don't need another child because I have you and you fill my life with eternal joy. "I love you, Stacey" "I love you too mom."
